YOU THINK YOU understand luxury? You never understood luxury.

The Merchant Hotel in Belfast – the home of the world’s most expensive cocktail – has just launched Ireland’s first dedicated ‘water menu’.

(Who just whispered “The boom is back”? We heard you.)

The menu features 13 different types of water from countries like Fiji, Finland and Iceland – the cheapest bottles start at £4.95 (€6.99) while the most expensive retails at £26.45 (€37) for 750 mls.

The hotel has also appointed two new ‘water butlers’ who will help guests choose the water that will complement their food and wine.

And what’s so special about this €37 water? Well, it’s iceberg water, from Newfoundland.

In the Canadian Arctic, the snow froze and compacted into enormous glacial walls, sheltered from all impurities from the outside world. Thousands of years later, the ice is considered to hold the purest water on earth.

It’s said to have a “smooth and neutral” taste, just like water! Imagine.

Matt Mackey / Press Eye Matt Mackey / Press Eye / Press Eye

What’s wrong with a bit of Ballygowan, we ask you? Or – whisper it – tap water? Well, general manager Gavin Carroll has assured customers that it won’t be going away:

For those who don’t want to splash out on water, we can still offer a glass of ‘Belfast water’ free of charge.

*blesses self*

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